"He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark moustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother."

Lately I find myself coming back to this, one of the more menacing quotations I've ever come across.

My gradual realization of the deep-seated egomania currently afflicting this country's leaders (and their willingness to do anything to hold on to power for its own sake) was a painful lesson to learn. To think I ever supported the Bush Administration stupefies me. But it has provided a great deal of clarity and explanatory power regarding the government's actions (and inaction) over these past few years. Examining the state of the country and the world, and the means at my disposal (as well as those of most American citizens) to affect change, one can't help but feel a pervasive sense of helplessness, of futility. This country was bought and sold off years ago, to paraphrase George Carlin, and there's really only a few thousand people involved in the important decision-making anymore. That's the elephant in the room of this great nation, the unspoken truth. And no, things wouldn't be much different if President Gore and the Democratic Party had its very own cadre of pathological liars and corrupt imbeciles steering the ship.

Of course we're not anywhere near a totalitarian state in this country (With all apologies to Cindy Sheehan... you just knew she'd end up sharing a photo-op with the first anti-American dictator who'd have her, didn't you?). Is it comforting to consider that tomorrow morning most of us will prefer to discuss tonight's episode of '24' rather than, say, talk about the President's proposed budget? Not really. Yet you can pull out your hair all you want about the state of things, and in the end you still have to pay taxes and feed yourself and your family and smile and complain and generally disregard those things (and people) beyond your influence, while at the same time avoiding the sewage and slop of lies lobbed at us every day by people who want our money, our time, our total obedience. Exhausted just thinking about it.

Hello old friends and strangers alike, it looks like I'm going to end my own self-willed exile and start writing a bit in this space once more. For no particular reason, and with no more free time available than before, I thought there might be some value in giving everyone a further piece of my mind.

So, with the ranting out of the way, I'll be ramping things up over the next week or two, and you can expect a lighter tone than the previous incarnation of this web log (this post notwithstanding!!). After all, I'm a father now, and my cold alien heart has been thawed out somewhat over the past year. And I'm much less in tune with the world of politics, power and money (oh my). We'll see if a proper balance of whimsy, curiosity, and cynicism can be reached.